Setting This One Boundary Changed My Life

Filed in Business, Busy As A Mother, Motherhood, Personal — June 10, 2019

setting boundary
photo by Julie Page

Setting One Boundary…

Ever since I had kids, I pay very close attention to when my stress level goes way up. I found that I was easily irritated and frustrated way more often than usual. And it wasn’t just because I had kids! 

Something I was doing was making life HARD.

My family, my business, and my overall wellbeing were all being affected.

It didn’t take me long to recognize that what was increasing my blood pressure the most. It was when I was trying to do two things at once.

Being home with my kids AND trying to work at the same time was at the top of that list.

I stretched myself thin. I was a total people-pleaser. The guilt was heavy and the pressure I was putting on myself was unmanageable.

Does this sound familiar to you?

My background is in social work. I was a social worker and therapist for 12 years and helping people create boundaries was something I did on the daily. But, creating boundaries for myself? I was definitely struggling with practicing what I preached.

And it was a huge wake-up call that I wasn’t applying what I know can be life-changing to my own life.

Once I started to recognize the consistency of when I was freaking out, I knew I needed to create boundaries around my work time, personal time, and family time.

If I didn’t, I was going to keep suffering and my family and my business were definitely going to, as well.

Setting One Boundary Continued…

Implementing just one boundary around when I will work, and that I won’t work when it’s just me and my kids at home, made such a difference for me and my family.

Creating this one boundary lessened my stress level. It truly made me a better mom. Yes, we had to get creative with childcare, but it was absolutely worth it for our family and for my business to make these changes (see my post about finding childcare HERE).

Without certain boundaries, we often end up over-giving, saying yes to things we don’t want to do, and feeling overworked and overtired.

If you can relate to feel this way, it might mean it’s time for you to set some of your own boundaries!

Here are a few tips for setting them:

1. Examine where in your life you are struggling.

Do you find yourself responding to clients during all hours of the day and night? Saying yes to things that you don’t want to do just to please someone else? Do you give in when your kids or partner want you to do something even though it’s your designated work time? Do you even have a designated work time?

2. Decide what you want to happen.

Do you want to have a quiet and uninterrupted space to work in? Do you want more quality time with your partner and kids? Or maybe you want more time to spend on your business?

3. Set some rules around each boundary.

Make sure the rules you set are realistic and achievable. Once you know what you want to implement, make sure to communicate it to the people who need to know about it. Then make sure you are calm, kind, and direct. Sometimes it helps to have a friend or someone you trust to talk to when you are setting a boundary for a little extra support if needed!

4. Stick to it!

What’s the point in setting a boundary if you aren’t going to follow through with it? Your friends, clients, and family will learn very quickly if this is something you will back down on. Not that people are trying to bring you down, but sometimes our clients and loved ones want access to us at all times! And why wouldn’t they when you are so great!! 🙂

Setting boundaries can be something that takes more than what I mentioned above. But, with some guidance, setting them truly can make a world of difference. Boundaries (or lack thereof) can relate directly to our own self love and truly can improve our lives.

If you would like some help with this, one section of my course Busy as a Mother: The Work & Life Balance Bootcamp is designated to learning to create boundaries successfully.

Being in the boot camp also means that you will be part of my private Facebook group. This is where you can bounce ideas off of other women and where you can have that extra support when you need it!

You’re invited to secure your spot on the waitlist for Busy As a Mother: The Balance Bootcamp HERE.

You will be one of the first to receive an exclusive invitation once the Bootcamp is open again!

Don’t forget to subscribe to Busy as a Mother on your podcast platform! 



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