My Little Big Man
I looked over at Van last night—he was sitting against the couch with his legs outstretched crossed at his ankles, holding onto his beloved Lighting McQueen car, in a sweatshirt and underwear, watching “trucks” on tv—and I stared at him in awe. He looked so big.
The photographer in me wanted to grab my camera and the mom in me sat paralyzed because I didn’t want that fleeting moment, when he was actually sitting still, to end. The mom in me won. And I sat there staring at him. Until he noticed. And he grinned and said, “Mama, mommy”. Like he does in his sweet little voice so many times a day that I’m ashamed to admit that sometimes it drives me crazy.
And I thought back to when he came into this world as a scrawny 3 pound, 11 oz baby and it brought me to tears. It brought me back to the whole NICU experience and how he was poked and prodded and how we were trying to figure out how to best take care of our little dude amongst all of the NICU rules. And how I was suddenly so grateful for my experience as a social worker because I knew exactly how to advocate for him and for us. And how he was so persistent even as an infant and how he left that NICU earlier than predicted.
And there he sat. With his disheveled hair and ridiculously toned quads looking like a big boy. And I know they grow. That’s what kids do. So I’m not going to be all “how did he get so big?!” because it didn’t feel fast. There were some LONG days over the last 2 years and 7 months and some really fun days and some beautiful days and some frustrating ones where I counted down the seconds until bedtime. And then put him to bed and missed him and wanted to wake him up an hour later. And it feels like it all has happened at perfect pace.
And, here we are, experiencing it all over again with Dre. As he’s about to crawl and he is so happy and observant of what’s happening around him. They already play together and bicker and adore each other and take toys from each other. I’m sure we will continue to be in awe watching our boys grow every step of the way. And I look forward to every moment of it.